you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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