so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
