i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
