Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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