I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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