ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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