I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
