just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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