Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
