if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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