In the future we'll all be gay
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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