Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
