fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
