Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
