I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
