My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
