She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They are going to name an STD after you.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize