I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I understand Curling. That high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
