Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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