I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he was CRYING into my vagina
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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