Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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