so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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