He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
