"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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