my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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