I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize