Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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