Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
