It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
