i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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