her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I am naked and annoyed.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
