alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
