i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
