I CAN MOONWALK!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
