Farmville is her only friend.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
