Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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