Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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