Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
