she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
