My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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