Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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