come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
she looked like the before picture.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
