Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Randomize
