Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
