"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
