She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Randomize
