whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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