First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
