It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
