dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
