Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
