The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
