He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
