Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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