yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Sober January is a disaster.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
