just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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