My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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