I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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