friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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