We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize