where am i from again
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
