well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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