I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
