5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Randomize
