Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
