...so i touched it.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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