so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
