I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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