hell yes lets make some ravioli
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
