If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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