The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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