its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
